Weiner Roast!

It’s taken me a little while to get these pictures up, so this actually took place a couple of weeks ago. Every Sunday night we have family dinner and a few weeks ago we decided to put the new fire pit to use! We all cooked our own hotdogs and had smores for dessert. It was so fun! Here are some highlights!

The Sledge Hammer Effect

I have to be honest, I hesitate to write this at all. The reason for that is that people tend not to understand. They automatically think, “why can’t she just get over it?” It’s been over a year after all, she should be able to move on. It’s not that I am wallowing in depression, but every so often this happens. I have decided that it is like a sledge hammer.

I was sitting in class the other day and all of a sudden the overwhelming realization that Rick is gone hit me again. It’s so hard to describe what it feels like. It’s like someone is taking a sledge hammer, swinging it back as far as they can, and then hitting me directly in the chest with it and then telling me to act as if nothing happened. How can I do that when the wind was just knocked out of me and there is that kind of intense pain? It doesn’t last for long, but while it’s there, it is overwhelming. There is really not much else to say, and I don’t know that it’s a very big deal, but I think it helped me to get it out in writing. These sledge hammers are getting to be less and less, but they still come. One day I know they will stop, but right now I am still recovering from the last hit.

Grief is such a foreign and interesting thing to me.

When People Are Annoying

PREFACE: I just wrote this post and read it again only to find it very annoying to read. I apologize for the wording, but maybe now you will understand my point a little better. Love me despite my annoying writing style!

I know a lot of annoying people. Or better yet, I think I can find at least one thing about everyone that I know that is annoying. Don’t get offended by that statement if I know you and now you think I find you annoying. That is not true. But there is probably something about you that is annoying to me or someone else. On that same note, I’m convinced that there is a very long list of things that are annoying about me to other people. Actually, sometimes I even find myself annoying. I am getting to a point, I promise.

So as I was riding MARTA last week I started thinking about this idea of everyone having something annoying about them. I know people that will say something to the person that is annoying them. Basically “Hey, that really annoys me when you do that, can you please stop?” I don’t think I’ve ever done that (unless it’s in the moment, like incessantly tapping your pen on the table or something), but I have definitely thought about it. For example, if someone has a tendency to tell long stories, that is annoying, but I don’t think I would ever tell them that I am annoyed by it. I would rather just think how annoying it is and let them go on their merry way. But, all that to say, I never saw anything wrong with others calling people out on what annoys them, that was until I was riding MARTA the other day.

I began to think that making people correct something about themselves just because it’s annoying to us probably isn’t the right thing to do. What they are doing is probably not wrong, it’s just annoying to one person, or a few people, but certainly not all people. The reality of it is, it’s not their problem at all, it’s yours. Are they obligated to change something about themselves just to ease our tension? I don’t think so. I think that God calls us to love each other as he loves us, unconditionally, otherwise we would spend all of our time picking each other apart and trying to mold someone into the person we think they should be. Now I know that is a big calling, but I think that one place that I can start is by learning to love the things that annoy me about people. Back to the long stories thing, instead of being annoyed by that, maybe I can turn that into an amusement for that friend’s zeal for life. I know that may sound cheesy, but it’s true. I think it’s our little annoying quirks that make us who we are and that are most lovable about us. Where do we get off thinking that someone should change just for us? It’s really very self centered. So, in my efforts to become others focused instead of me focused, I am going to learn to love those annoyances. After all, I already love the person as my friend or family member, so it’s time to learn to love and appreciate everything about them. I believe the key is to learn to see them as God sees them. I think I will keep asking him for that ability. In the meantime, I will practice!

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be friends who love deeply, practice playing second fiddle. Romans 12:9 (The Message)

New Gear!

I bought my bike today for the triathlon! I have absolutely no idea how to shift any of the gears or ride it really, but it’s so beautiful! It was totally worth saving up for! Here is a picture of the bike and also the bike rack I got. Now if only there was cool gear for swimming, I might actually be inspired to work on that some more!!!

Some News and a Random Thought

I think I will start with the random thought. Today while I was driving from the MARTA station to North Point I started feeling a little depressed about being 25 years old and still having almost 2 years of school left. I was thinking how I am totally off schedule, and even though I got some great life experience, that I am too old to be in school and should have a job and be living on my own now. Well, that led me to the “schedule” that I feel that I am off of. Some questions began to run through my mind. Who made the schedule? Who says there is a schedule? Is the schedule a good thing? Then I thought, brilliantly, maybe there isn’t a schedule. Maybe it’s just the way that our culture thinks it’s supposed to be when really it’s different for everyone. Maybe I am right on the schedule that God has for me, even though I may have taken a few of my own little detours (a.k.a. learning the hard way!). Then the most random question that came from my random thought. I wonder if the same “they” that created the “schedule” are the same “they” that said some countries are “closed” to Christianity. I know that’s really random. But “they” seem to have a lot of control over what is supposed to be God’s.

On to some news! I met with my director, Rick, at North Point today and starting November 1 I am going to be full time there. I am really excited about it! It means that I will get benefits and stuff like that, but it also means that I will get more responsibility. I really feel like part of a team there now. It’s been so fun being in a new department and doing new things.

Oh wait, one more random thing to say. I would like to thank Jonathan for reading my blog today and applying it to our conversation. That definitely earned you some brownie points….which leads me to another topic…what are brownie points exactly?