Sometimes (An Honest Reflection On My First 6 Months In El Salvador)

Sometimes I feel like I’ve always been here. Sometimes I feel like I fit right in. Sometimes I love pupusas. Sometimes I think if I have to eat another pupusa, I’m going to throw up. Sometimes I feel like I am making huge strides with the girls. Sometimes I wonder why I am here at all. Sometimes I look at the beautiful mountains surrounding this valley and feel incredible joy, peace, and thankfulness. Sometimes I miss GA 400. Sometimes I just really miss Chick Fil A. Sometimes I feel like I could spend the rest of my life here. Sometimes I feel like jumping on a plane back home. Sometimes I feel so full. Sometimes I feel so lonely that I cry while I’m driving around. Sometimes I wonder how Coca-Cola can be so bad for you (even in a glass bottle), when it tastes to good and reminds you of home. Sometimes people talk about Chick Fil A on Facebook and I get super jealous and usually mad at them for posting that. Sometimes I feel like I am missing out on the lives of my nieces and nephews. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with gratitude while surrounded by sweet girls snuggled up to me watching a movie. Sometimes I feel forgotten. Sometimes I feel remembered. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by the hurt that sits down deep in these little hearts. Sometimes I feel encouraged by what God is doing through the pain. Sometimes I feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. Sometimes I speak great Spanish. Sometimes I get made fun of for my Spanish and then I cry in my car on the way home and wonder if I will ever fit in. Sometimes I forget words in English. Sometimes I don’t want to leave La Casa and wish I lived there with the girls. Sometimes I am running out the doors of La Casa for some alone time. Sometimes I feel like part of a family. Sometimes I feel very very alone. Sometimes I really want some Chick Fil A sweet tea.

All of the time God pours down his kindness and love and the reminder of his calling.

All of the time I love these kids with all of my heart and pray for them continuously.

All of the time I am grateful for those who have sent me and continue to pray for me and encourage me.

But sometimes a girl just needs some Chick Fil A.